Helping vs. Enabling Helping is doing something for someone that they cannot do themselves. Enabling is doing something that they can and should do for themselves. Yes they all have stories, some of them true and some of them not. Many are good liars and choose to live the way they do because they want to. I opened my home to a family member who was homeless. This person hoarded and resold things given to them. This person refused to get any help including mental help and complained about everything. Once forced to find a job or leave, they did find a job, but decided to return to homelessness because they couldn’t get along at their job and didn’t want to work more than 20 hours a week and definitely not on Saturdays. This person didn’t want to pay rent or utilities and forced me to evict them. They called the police on me and tried to say I was abusing them by wanting their stuff and even tried to sue me over an umbrella they left in my car.